Two quotes and two exercises that might help you lose the “wait” toward oneness in your marriage…

Hard to believe March 1st is tomorrow. That means the Sunday morning equipping focus for the Westpoint Church family moves on from the letter “E” to the letter “N” of the SENT emphasis – “NEIGHBORING.” This next teaching series is entitled “God became neighbor.” We will walk through four Scriptures in the Gospel of John as we consider the implications of God coming near to us. Looking forward to a special Easter season!!!

And here is the final Spouse Beach Diet weigh in! Even still, I hope you and your spouse will continue to give energy and effort to the diet and exercise of marriage together. To wrap up the month, consider the following two quotes and two questions together. Take some time on an upcoming date night or late night coffee at home to thoroughly discuss them. It may be just the workout you need to continue to lose the “wait” toward oneness and to go with God together on the intimate, beautiful intended mission of your marriage.

First quote…

“The gospel is this: We are more sinful and flawed in ourselves than we ever dared believe, yet at the very same time we are more loved and accepted in Jesus Christ than we ever dared hope.”
― Timothy Keller, The Meaning of Marriage

QUESTION _ if the Gospel is not just something you trusted one day for conversion but everyday for abundant life in Christ, AND if the Gospel is something that is embodied more than just intellectually received, then how might you and your spouse need to center the Gospel more in your marriage? How is it absent from your relationship (in ways that you treat each other)? How would it be displayed to one another if Gospel was more central to your relationship?

Next quote…

“Love without truth is sentimentality; it supports and affirms us but keeps us in denial about our flaws. Truth without love is harshness; it gives us information but in such a way that we cannot really hear it. God’s saving love in Christ, however, is marked by both radical truthfulness about who we are and yet also radical, unconditional commitment to us. The merciful commitment strengthens us to see the truth about ourselves and repent. The conviction and repentance moves us to cling to and rest in God’s mercy and grace.”
― Timothy Keller, The Meaning of Marriage

QUESTION _ How are love and truth playing a part in your relationship? How might one or the other be missing? HUSBANDS – is your wife certain that, like Christ, the one thing she will always be able to count on is your love and your presence? WIVES – is your husband encouraged and affirmed in the ways that you communicate your needs, or is he discouraged and torn down? How can love and truth draw you closer toward each other? And how, if applied, might it transform the way you communicate with each other?

Hope this is a meaningful and fruitful exercise, even if it is hard, even if it hurts. Please remember that difficult does NOT equal bad. Often, in fact, it equals becoming. In the context of marriage, often it equals becoming one.

Much love.

-jason

What is the mission of your marriage?

Time for our Spouse Beach Diet weigh in again this week. Have the daily suggestions been helpful? Hope so!

This coming Sunday, the series concludes with the question – “Are you eating your way together into the Kingdom of God (aka what is the mission if your marriage)?

Marriage is not just for our own good. Rather, God uses marriage both to teach us of His goodness and grace as well as to teach others of His goodness and grace as they see it embodied in our marital relationships. Gospel believed and lived and given. There is definitely a mission to marriage. Are you engaged in it together?

Alan Hirsch’s mentor told him once that he was convinced of the following:

Followers of Jesus should eat their way into the Kingdom of God

.

I am convinced he was right, if couples will use the daily rhythms of meals to invite others along with them as they learn the ways of Jesus. And the mission of your marriage could be as simple as supper and hospitality. The conversations that Jesus had over meals and the oneness His hearers experienced with God are apparent. Imagine the conversations around your table becoming just like His, and imagine the oneness you would experience as a married couple watching others discover oneness with the God who came near to love them.

May you find the mission of your marriage and go with Jesus together to live sent.

One more extra resource to share this month _ “10 ways to joyfully keep your marriage vows.”

And, just like we shared in the last three weeks’ emails, from the minds and hearts of your pastoral team, here are “28 Days of Suggested Nutritional Choices for the Diet of Your Marriage” (aka The Spouse Beach Diet) – one a day for the wives to consider and live out (if they so choose) and one a day for the husbands to consider and live out (if they so choose). You can click on the links below to check them out.

Just to be clear, they are rated M for “marriage.”

Click here to check out what the husbands are encouraged to consider. Click here to check out what the wives are encouraged to consider.

Much love!
-jason
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PS _ The Northland DADDY-DAUGHTER DANCE is March 1st. If you are planning on going, reply and let me know. We will try to grab a meal together beforehand like last year. Click here to register.

PPS _ next month’s Sunday morning equipping focuses on the letter “N” of the SENT emphasis – “neighboring” – with a teaching series entitled “God became neighbor.” Looking forward to a special Easter season!!!

Barbara Rainey suggests, “Without question, the biggest deterrent to romance for moms is children.” Read more in this repost of her article “Need Machines.”

Our emphasis on “marriage” and living the SENT life with your spouse continues with this great article from Barbara Rainey of Family Life Today entitled “Need Machines.” Great discussion starter for husbands and wives regarding their intimacy and oneness in the busy season of raising children. Good stuff! Thankful for Dennis and Barbara Rainey and how they encourage so many couples.

Hope it is encouraging to you!
-Jason
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Need Machines
by Barbara Rainey

Over our doors are all choice fruits, both new and old, which I have saved up for you, my beloved.
Song of Solomon 7:13

Without question, the biggest deterrent to romance for moms is children. These sweet, precious, innocent little ones given to us by God are also self-centered, untrained, unending “need machines” who can suck the life out of our marriage. They often leave us feeling like the mother who said, “It’s ironic. Romance gave us our children, and children ended our romance.”

But motherhood can simply be a tempting excuse for giving up sex. Caught up in her day-in-day-out responsibilities, a mother can experience a slow shift in loyalty from husband to children. She thinks the needs of her children, since they are so helpless and formative, are more important than the needs of her husband. After all, he’s an adult.

True. And yet one reason why this reasoning is faulty–one reason why it’s easy for us to have little sympathy for our husband’s sexual needs–is that we as women are able to experience our femaleness simply by nurturing our children. We feel fully alive as women when we’re caring for them (that is, when we’re not totally exhausted!). We feel a deep, innate sense of well-being and fulfillment; it is an indescribable privilege that brings us profound satisfaction. It’s what we were made to do.

But it’s only part of being a woman. God didn’t create you with the capacity and compulsion to nurture just for the sake of your children. He also meant for you to nurture life in your husband. Maintaining this balance is one of the biggest challenges of the parenting years; your children need to see Dad and Mom in love.

Nurturing life in your husband may not be as automatic as it is with your children, but it is no less important. God will help you balance the needs of both husband and children when you depend upon Him.

Discuss
What are some practical, creative ways you both could keep romance alive, even when living in a house full of children?

Pray
Pray for God’s wisdom in balancing life’s demands.

marriage and making love _ encouragement for those embarking on the Spouse Beach Diet with us this month…

Our emphasis on SENT life together continues this month with a focus on the most intimate of all of our relationships – marriage. The oneness or lack thereof in the relationship between a husband and wife can define and empower SENT life or distract and hinder mission together. The hope this month is to better equip husbands and wives to grow in oneness and experience the SENT life Jesus intended.

Last Sunday in the teaching, we learned together about “Eating Jesus Together.” If you so desire, you can listen to the podcast by clicking here.

Meanwhile, here are some encouraging words about romance in marriage from Dennis and Barbara Rainey of Family Life Today. Enjoy…

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Dennis and I received a cute email about the romantic differences between men and women. It began by asking, “How do you romance a woman?”

Answer: “Wine her, dine her, call her, cuddle with her, surprise her, compliment her hair, shop with her, listen to her talk, buy flowers, hold her hand, write love letters, and be willing to go to the end of the earth and back again for her.” I could go along with that.

But when it asked the same question the other way–“How do you romance a man?”–the answer was much more brief and to the point.

Answer: “Arrive naked. Bring food.”

Ahhh . . . men.

But in a way, this blending of our roman¬tic differences is similar to how you make a good salad dressing. Oil and vinegar are about as dissimilar as condiments get. The only thing they have in common is that they are liquids. Other than that, they’re night and day. Oil is smooth; vine¬gar is sharp. Oil is thick; vinegar is thin. Left alone in the same bottle, the two will always migrate to opposite ends and remain there forever–unless shaken.

Interestingly, however, even after the bottle has been shaken, the two ingredients retain their unique identities. And yet they complement each other in a savory unity. Together, they serve as a zesty finish to an otherwise bland mix of lettuces.

And so it is in marriage. No matter how many times a husband and wife come together, they always remain unique. He will always think like a man; she, like a woman. And although their innate design will never change, they can better under-stand each other and move to love one another with compassion, knowing that in so doing, they create a savory blend of romantic intrigue.

Discuss:
What do you love about your romantic differences? Which ones can drive you crazy?

Pray:
Pray for patient understanding and for new ways of embracing and loving this wonderful person you married.

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As an ADDED BONUS _ here are “4 Ideas to Improve Your Love-Making” also from Family Life. Really enjoy this one :-)

Much love.
-jason